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the day the good Lord chose to pass out extra helpings of hips and ass
I thought it was a buffet and got in line twice
I still have a job.

A lot of other people don't.

It's been a long, exhausting day of people's lives being decided for them.
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Why is it that anytime anyone ever knows anyone anywhere that has a pit bull they irresponsibly got but cannot keep, I am the first person they come to? It is for I am a sucker. And I do not want another puppy but damn she's cute and innocent and it's not HER fault some idiot thought she would be a fabulous christmas gift except OH she actually requires attention and work and real live people around her.

I really hate stupid people. Multiplied by a thousand.
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Have you ever done something really stupid and you just need someone to be all "That was SO stupid, what were you thinking?"

You can thank me later.
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Dear uber conservative co-workers, all of you;

You are hereby put on notice. I don't want to hear your shit. I don't want to hear your questions. The bet we made yesterday? I TOTALLY WON. And, bitches, I'm collecting on it.


P.S. Don't think I'm unaware of the silence this morning when yesterday it was all you bastards could do to keep your mouths shut. I have my eyes on you.

P.P.S. Did you think I would notice that I'm the only person you didn't say hi to this morning, Henderzahs? This is especially noticeable because you generally sing me a song in the morning.

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All I can say is... I'm in tears. I am so proud of our country right now. I am so looking forward to the next 4 years. It feels almost like the whole world has changed.
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Remember me? Yeah, me neither really. It's apparently been 123 weeks since I've posted anything. That is not a small number of weeks.

How you doin'? I want to hear EVERYTHING. Me? Eh, we'll get to that later. For now, I'm just here.
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here's a random update:

so we got XM satellite radio a month ago because i am way too high maintenance for commercials.

someone stole it out of our car last night.

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i got a pretty new camera for my birthday. so here's this: 

they aren't really that polite or well-behaved. i had treats in my hand.
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